Bi-weekly, Bi-lingual – Ni Hao

Obviously, I am a dad, I have a domain name that has the word in it, and my tagline says it too, why is that important? Because I am trying to give the gift/curse of language(s) to my children. I am fluent in English and French and competent in Dutch and German, I thought here’s what I will do, I will pass on the language of French to them, this was much to the ire of my family (who are either monolingual Australians and Brits or Dutch) and even myself if I am honest. It just made the most sense to me because it was a bigger language than Dutch and I spoke it much better. I had never raised bilingual kids before, and experience is one hell of a teacher, but it became evident to me that I was destined to fail. Here’s why I did:


  • I was the only parent who was proficient in more than one language.
  • Work and personal circumstances meant I would not have enough time with the child/children.
  • No support network or social contexts where the target language would be dominant, playgroups, relatives etc.
  • Australia is monolingual and does not assist, promote or even condone multilingualism in the home or at school. Argue all you like with this point, but it’s the reality of living in an English speaking country. Learning the days of the week and some greetings half way through primary/grade school does not cut the mustard.
  • The motivation for continued development, e.g. Friends, cool movies/shows and music, education/professional opportunities. English just has way more of this than other languages.


If you were expecting an uplifting raise a bilingual child article, you might now be thinking “WTF Polyglot DAD! You are being so negative and making me want to give up.” The good news is that I didn’t give up, well I did, and I didn’t. I had to become more realistic, I adjusted my expectations from bilingual to “interested in” and “aware of” other languages. I explained to my kids that there were many other languages, I read to them in French when I can, teach them words and I put children’s movies and series on that are in French, being mindful not to be too forceful with the language thing. Thinking to myself if I can’t make this thing mandatory I will encourage an interest at the very least. One might even term my approach the “Dora the Explorer” method. My second oldest child is actually quite interested in foreign languages, so this approach is working with him quite well. But as with any great story on an obscure blog, there is a plot twist to rival, nay surpass the “I am your father” moment from “The Empire Strikes Back.” After failed attempts to find French bilingual classes and daycare during my shared custody of the children. I gave up and just continued the measured approach outlined previously, but then a game-changer stared me right in the face. I recently got off at a train station in my city and saw an advertisement for the first bilingual Mandarin/English daycare in said city. It just so happens that I have a daughter who is nearly 3 years old, is not at school yet and already attends daycare so… short story even shorter, my young European Australian daughter is now enrolled in a Chinese bilingual daycare two full days every two weeks, where she will learn Mandarin, thus beginning a new saga. I am not sure how effective it will be, however, going back to the bullet points I wrote way up in the story, this addresses all but one! It seems my hopes to have my children benefit from speaking more than just English have been revitalised. Updates to follow.

Image from Nickelodeon

*No copyright infringement is intended.

How hard is your language?

When I was growing up, I would often hear phrases like “They say English is the most difficult language in the world.” Nowadays you hear this same statement said about Mandarin, Arabic and Russian, in fact, some speakers of these global languages almost say it with pride. But what makes a language difficult, who finds it difficult and why? Is it how many words it has? How difficult it is for people to pronounce them? Is it because the alphabet has thousands of characters? Or is it because there is not much content out there or few people to speak it with?

Language can be structured, consistent and logical, especially if it is a synthetic language like Esperanto, but generally speaking, (boom, boom) languages are an absolute free for all, and I see many Darwinian concepts at work when it comes to how they grow, change and die. Every language borrows words from others, has grammatical rules that seem critical but get continuously broken and whose sounds change ever so slightly (or radically sometimes) with each subsequent generation. A measure of difficulty that I would often use when learning languages is a concept called “inflection.” Inflection makes itself known in many ways, for example, pronouns changing from “I” to “me” or “we” to “us”, verbs changing form, depending which person did what and when (conjugation). And the infamous noun gender found in German, French and pretty much every other Indo-European language. But even this is a poor measure because there are languages like Chinese which are not inflected in this way but possess other demons to torment foreign language learners such as tones and what many people consider to be a ridiculous amount of written characters. The Japanese actually try to limit their non-phonetic characters to 2,136, they are aptly named the “Joyo Kanji” translated as the “used Kanji.” But do you think they only use these? …Nope!

So what is the hardest language in the world?

Simple answer… all of them! For example Swedish is difficult for a native Chinese speaker but easy for English or German Natives, Arabic is torturous for French speakers but easy for Hebrew speakers. Language, like colour, is a spectrum, when does a dialect become a distinct language? Is like asking when does green become blue? If you want to try this kind of question out, ask a bunch of people what colour a tennis ball is. To labour the point, I speak Dutch, and when I hear Afrikaans I understand about 70-80% of what is said, Swedes and Danes often talk to each in their native languages without any more than that experienced by someone from New Orleans speaking English with someone from Glasgow.

However, for those who don’t like vague, neutral answers like mine, the difficulty of the language to an individual can be measured with these questions.

  • Does this language harbour stuff that you want to know about? E.g. Japanese and great Animé or the French with their poems about broken hearts, walking on bridges and along canals < this is a joke 😉
  • Can you get exposure to it? E.g. non-Anglophones getting waterboarded by the English language via pop-culture and business, or your city having a decent Chinatown to immerse yourself in.
  • Do you have the discipline to do a little bit of practice most days of the week?

If you answer yes to all three, it is an easy language, if no to all three then it is a hard language. Because from my experience, pointless inflection and decadent alphabets are no barrier if it is yes to the above, it is just a matter of persistence.

I would love to hear people’s thoughts on this so feel free to comment away. *Except if you want to mandate that your language the hardest, I guarantee there is a minority group or indigenous people somewhere speaking a way more inflected, tongue-twisty one.

Image from Inidam